


The Seven Lightyear Itch

by Songstress of Solomon (Azalea542)



Series: Never Seen a Bluer Sky [6]
Category: Cowboy Bebop (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azalea542/pseuds/Songstress%20of%20Solomon
Summary: After several years of marriage, Faye suspects Jet might cheat on her, so she spies on him to find out.
Relationships: Jet Black/Faye Valentine
Series: Never Seen a Bluer Sky [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654762
Kudos: 1





	The Seven Lightyear Itch

They had been married seven years now. Sometimes Faye had to wonder about it. Looking back, she thought she and Jet would last maybe a couple of months, tops. But they had settled down into a comfortable existence; no need to change or mess things up. Oh, they argued a lot, but they both seemed to enjoy a heated discussion. She was happy, actually.

They had really settled down. Tharsis was their permanent home. Jet worked in security and Faye was a private detective.

One night, Faye and Jet were sitting side by side at a German restaurant where tables were shared by unrelated parties. “I feel bad,” Faye admitted. “We’re dining out and Ed is stuck fixing all our compu—“ Faye noticed her husband’s mouth was agape. She followed his gaze. A buxom lady with blond ringlets and shapely legs was preparing to sit down across from Jet. She looked like a film noir starlet. An average looking white man sat down beside her. The woman’s eyes lit up. “Jet Black!”

“Giselle Gillis,” he returned.

“Well, it’s Giselle Dickinson now,” she corrected. “This is my husband, Dirk.”

Dirk mumbed something pleasant, and Jet introduced Faye as his wife.

“You haven’t aged a day, Giselle,” Jet remarked.

“I’ve been in cold sleep,” she joked.

“Really?” Faye asked. “I was in cold sleep for decades. How long were you in for?”

Giselle chuckled nervously. “I was just joking. Jet, I heard you became a bounty hunter.”

“Yeah, that’s how I met her.” Jet jerked a thumb in Faye’s direction. “But I’m in security now. You?”

“Oh, I’m still with the ISSP. I guess I’m just comfortable with it. So, how’d you meet her bounty hunting?” she inquired. “Was she your bounty?” Faye thought she detected snideness under Giselle’s façade of good humor.

“Actually, she was!” Jet said with a laugh. “I guess she was the catch of my life!”

At that, Faye had to smile, and under the table, she playfully nudged her husband’s foot with her own.

“Oh, how sweet,” Giselle said with a big, possibly phony, smile.

Faye and Giselle were in the ladies’ room, washing up. “So, what do you see in a guy like Jet?” Giselle wondered. “He doesn’t have the prettiest face.”

“Maybe not,” Faye admitted. “Although that scar over his eye is pretty cool. But you saw those muscles on him. The rest of him is damned well-endowed.”

“Ohh!” Giselle chirped knowingly. “You’re a lucky woman.”

Faye smiled with satisfaction and realization. “Yes, yes I am.”

Since Jet and Faye had come to the restaurant earlier than Giselle and her husband, they finished first. A waiter came by and handed a check to Jet. “Oh, are you leaving already?” Giselle wondered. “We haven’t had time to catch up! Why don’t we make it a double date some night?”

In the car on the way home, Faye prodded Jet. “This Giselle woman—was she your girlfriend?”

Jet, at the wheel, chuckled and grinned. “Who, Giselle? No. She was untouchable. I was a rookie when I knew her. She already knew the ropes. She was the princess and I was the pauper. It was a hopeless case.”

“So you _did_ have a thing for her?”

“Relax, Faye, it was just a crush! You’re not uptight about Alisa, and I actually lived with her.”

“Oh, I still don’t like Giselle.”

“She’s a real lady, Faye.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Faye demanded angrily. “That I’m not a lady?”

“Ooh boy,” Jet muttered to himself. He’s really stuck his foot in his mouth this time. Faye was all woman, but a lady she was not. “I was just saying she’s a decent person and she doesn’t deserve to be hated.”

“Oh.” She said it in such a way that Jet knew the issue had not been permanently dropped.

“Good morning, Ed,” Faye greeted. “Did you take your medication today?”

Ed crossed her arms and legs and shook her head. “Don’t wanna.”

“Now, Ed, you don’t want to end up back in the Crane Brothers Mental Health Treatment Center.”

“Don’t wanna,” Ed repeated.

“And should I schedule an appointment with—“ Faye tried to think of Ed’s therapist’s name.

“Mary Mary Had a Little Lamb Lamb,” Ed cued her.

“Oh, yes, Dr. Mary Lamb. What will she have to say about you being Edward, then Françoise, then Sophia? I don’t even want to get into Sophia.”

“Mmm, well, maybe if you hide the pills in globs of peanut butter…”

“Ed, that’s what we do for the dogs and their flea pills!” She saw Ed’s determined look, sighed, and got out the jar of peanut butter. She spoon fed the medication to her eccentric companion.

When Ed was through, Faye said, “I’m gonna need your help today—“

“Not cleaning the shower!” Ed groaned.

“No. On the computer. I need you to look up a satellite view of a house for me.”

“Okay!” Ed did a somersault.

“It’s 69 Martian Oaks Lane.”

While Ed searched, Faye thought to a job call she had received on the phone earlier that day, for a case that would force her to cancel the Dickinson date. “That voice on the phone. No image transmitted. Sounded like Giselle. Yeah, I think my client Miss Hudson and Giselle are the same.”

“Really? She’s trying to send you on a phony chase?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds far-fetched.”

“Nothing should sound far-fetched to you, Ed! You’re far-fetched in yourself.”

“Here’s her house.”

“Hmmm. Nice place.” Faye studied the screen. “Should’ve asked what her husband does. I’m going tonight. But not with Jet.”

“You’re spying on him?”

“Yep.”

“But that’s underhanded!”

Faye grinned. “Yeah, I know. I may have matured, but I still have a little devil in me.” 

Faye, with Ein in a carrying case, hoisted herself over a white brick wall. They heard a bark. Faye put Ein on the ground. “Okay, boy, you do your stuff. Just like we rehearsed.”

A German Shepherd came into view, barking ferociously. Ein stood his ground and said authoritatively, “Woof.” The bigger dog stepped back and whined.

“Good doggie,” Faye said, passing him a treat. She passed by the guard dog and patted it on the head. It licked her hand in an amiable way, then sat down. _I wonder exactly what it is Ein says to them._

Faye approached one window. It looked like it was part of the living room, but there was a cabinet in the way, preventing Faye from seeing much. She glimpsed what she thought was Giselle’s hand, holding a glass of wine..or grape juice. Probably wine. _Ugh, who would put a cabinet in front of a window?_

She made a quick circumference of the house. Then she remembered the skylight.

“I was saving the wine for a special occasion,” Giselle said.

“What’s the occasion?” Jet, wearing his dress clothes, asked warily.

“Why, you’re rejoining the force.”

“Me rejoining the force? I’m not rejoining anything.”

“But you said you were tired of working security.”

“Yeah, but I work with more honest people. Don’t tell me things have changed with the ISSP, Giselle. I know they haven’t. That’s not the way this world works.”

“Don’t you ever miss your old life?”

Jet thought back to his days with the ISSP, but found himself thinking of himself, Spike, and Faye cruising the solar system on the _Bebop_ , living day to day. “Yeah. I miss those days. But not the ones you’re thinking of.”

She smirked. “You wanna be a bounty hunter again, huh? Your wife, too?”

“I’m sure she’ll come along. So wouldn’t Ed. It’s just Ebony I worry about.”

Up on the roof, Faye drew back. _He never told me he wanted to go back to bounty hunting!_

She gazed back in. Giselle had slipped her hosed feet out of loosely fitting high heels. She gracefully crossed her legs, as if to put on a show, then uncrossed them. With the toes of one foot, she teasingly nudged Jet’s shin.

Faye’s hands balled into fists. _Why that little tramp!_

“You know, I could arrange it so we’d be partners,” Giselle said. “If you’d rejoin the force.”

“No thanks.”

“We could be partners..in another way.”

Jet raised an eyebrow.

“I was the one who arranged it so Dirk was away tonight,” she continued. “And I sent Faye on a wild goose chase that’ll keep her busy all night. No one needs to know.”

Faye looked back down and nearly screamed. Her husband had leaned forward to give that slut a kiss!

Jet pulled away. He stood up and tipped his hat. “I’ve leaving now. Thanks for having me.”

“What?” Giselle demanded, also standing. “That’s it?”

“A long time ago, I promised that kiss to myself,” Jet explained. “I didn’t promise myself anything further than that.”

“But—”

“You never paid me any attention when I was a rookie. The only reason you want me now if because I’m no longer available.”

"I find 'available' a word subject to interpretation..."

Jet shook his head. “Just drop it. Before you humiliate yourself.”

“I thought you wanted me!”

“Once. I was a kid then. Tastes change.”

Suddenly, Faye, who had been leaning on the skylight, fell through amidst a shattering of glass. Jet caught her.

“What the hell--?” Giselle demanded. She reached a hand up to her cheek, which had been hit by a shard of glass. “I’m bleeding! You two are gonna pay for my skylight—and you’re going up there right now and putting a tarp on it until I can get it repaired!”

Jet set Faye down on her feet. “Excuse me, Mrs. Adultery, but you’re the one who tried to seduce my husband!”

“Yeah, so what, you little tart?”

“Me? I’m not the tart here, you harlot!”

“Bitch!”

“Slut!”

They went for each other’s throats. Soon they were pulling at each other’s hair while rolling on the floor, apparently not getting cut by the broken glass.

Jet chuckled, walked over to the kitchen counter, and opened a bag of chips. He then sat back down on the couch, munching chips while watching the ladies fight.

They stood. “I know martial arts, so watch out,” Giselle warned.

“I’m not stranger to the streets myself, sister!” Faye returned. They both posed with their hands ready for chopping action.

“Don’t get too rough now,” Jet advised, his mouth full of potato chips.

They glared at him. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Giselle questioned.

“I never had two chicks fight over me before.”

“For your info, I’m fighting over the broken skylight,” Giselle insisted.

“Whatever.”

“Jet, let’s just go,” Faye said. “If Mrs. Dickinson here wants to charge us for the skylight, I’ll just send the interesting conversation I taped tonight to her husband. Maybe use it in court in an alienation of affection case.”

Giselle glowered at Faye. “Okay, you win, but…” Suddenly, her irritated voice became concerned. “How did you get past my dog? What did you do to my darling Medusa?” She ran outside, Jet and Faye following.

They found Medusa lying down, her tongue sticking out, and a grin on her face. Ein was beside her, a paw up on her, licking her coat.

“Medusa’s been seduced!” Giselle cried, aghast.

“What goes around, comes around,” Jet observed.

“Oh, they were probably just playing and got tired,” Faye said. “I don’t think Ein could get up that high anyway.”

Jet and Faye walked towards Jet’s car. Ein trailed behind, smiling in typical doggie style. “I suppose you’re wondering what I was doing up there,” Faye began, sounding like a school girl in trouble.

“I know what you were doing. You were spying on me.”

They stood by the side of the car, facing each other. “Sorry.”

Jet smirked. “No, you’re not. And I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?”

“No. It does a guy’s ego good to know his woman still wants him after all this time. So, how’d I do?”

Faye smiled, and leaned closer to kiss him slowly. Ein yapped excitedly. “There’s more of that when you get home,” she promised, in a husky voice rivaling Giselle’s. She turned to walk away. Looking back, she added, “Take the long way home, but don’t take too long.”

Faye had raced home and called Ebony’s babysitter to ask her to keep Ebony for the entire night. She threw in Ed as part of the bargain. Ebony’s babysitter somehow liked Ed’s craziness, so she didn’t mind.

Then Faye had changed into red lingerie and stiletto heels, and waited for Jet to come home.

Now they were on the couch, unable to quite make it to the bedroom. Faye still had her lingerie on, and Jet had taken off everything but his pants. Jet was lying on top of Faye, and they were kissing when they suddenly became aware of panting which wasn’t coming from them. They turned their heads. Both Ein and SJ sat there, looking up at them, grinning.

“Damn horny dogs,” Faye swore.

“Um, did you feed them?” Jet asked.

“Noo…”

“Well, give them their supper, woman! They’re probably starving!”

“I will if you get off of me!”

Now one might think that ruined the romantic atmosphere for the rest of the night, but rest assured, it didn’t. After Faye fed the two hungry dogs, she put on a long coat over her lingerie and took them to the fenced in enclosure in the grassy area under the ship, so the pets wouldn’t bother them anymore. She went back aboard, where Jet had put on some smooth jazz over the ship’s intercom, and they picked up where they had left off.

Dirk Dickinson came home in the early morning, to find his wife still up, sitting on an easy chair and looking exhausted. “What’s up, honey?”

“I, uh…” She trailed off.

“What?”

She glanced up at the skylight, now covered with canvas.

He followed her gaze. “What happened?”

“A kid,” Giselle said assuredly. “With a baseball.”

“Man, he must have a really good arm!” Dirk put a finger to his mouth. “Maybe a cyber arm—you know, like your friend Jet.”

Giselle growled to herself.

Nine months later, Ebony had a little brother. He was Jet Junior, known as J.J. Ebony grew up to be a scientist; J.J. grew up to form a rock band.

Ed revisted the Crane Brothers Mental Health Treatment Center a few more times.

And Jet and Faye stayed married more or less happily ever after.

And Spike looked down from Heaven and laughed.


End file.
